Communication....FINALLY

We had a MAJOR break through tonight! It comes with good news and bad news. I am totally focusing on the good news!! So, as Larry and I were cleaning up from dinner we reminded Bean that as soon as the kitchen was clean, we needed to get ready for her shots (tonight was double night). She started to whine about it as she always does. We reminded her that she NEEDS these shots. This is our weekly go around on the shots. So she says, "But the Humira makes me hurt worse." I said, "Well, I know it hurts to get the shot but it helps right?" She tells us that the next day she always hurts worse. WOW! WOW! This was so huge for her! I had to take a moment to compose myself so that I wouldn't scare her off. So I ask her, "So the next day your pain is worse. What about the day after that?" She says, "Well...it's a little better on that day." I ask, "So each day the pain gets less and less?" She says that's right. I pointed out that she started hurting on Thursday of this week. That's going into the weekend she gets Humira. So apparently the pattern is get the shot, hurt a day, feel better until a few days before the next shot. Going to keep a close eye on that pattern. Seems like that's wearing off too early? After that conversation I had her show me her toes and knees again. She was showing me which toes hurt and they are still slightly purple. Then I checked her knees. The left one doesn't look too bad but the right is still really squishy. There is too much fluid in it. As I was showing Larry how squishy it is I hurt her. She whimpered and jumped back. I felt awful and told her that I was so sorry. She wouldn't look at me. I held my breathe, then she ran off to do Playdoh with her brother.

I'm not really sure HOW shots went. She broke my heart over it all but she did really well. Instead of fighting she just cried. That killed me....really, really killed me. I hate doing this to her. But, after it was over and I was stroking her hair and wiping her tears away I explained that without these shots her eyes would get sick again, she'd go blind and it would hurt really bad. Her joints would all get swollen, sore and eventually twisted and unusable. So, as awful as these shots are, they really DO make her better. I think she sort of gets it. It's so hard. She is only SIX years old. These are NOT things that a 6 year old should have to deal with. But, it's okay, this will all make her so strong. It's all a part of making her who she is...ya know? So the pic up there is after her shots. All cozied up with a pillow under her sore legs, her new Pillow Pet behind her, her beloved blankey beside her and her new lap desk with new crayons from Nanny & Umpy. And Bub has been waiting on her hand and foot. He hates to see her like this and does all he can to help her. I love these kids. I really am blessed.